Scrapbooks, Sweden, lies and chocolate (edited)
‘Film as dream, film as music. No art passes our conscience in the way film does, and goes directly to our feelings, deep down into the dark rooms of our souls’ (Ingmar Bergman, Swedish film director)
‘I think of all the choices I never knew. And those I let be made for me – to please, from fear, for love. Where did they disappear to, those choices that I never made? They are all part of who I am. They are the legacy I leave behind, they are the finished portrait of myself I cannot change’ (Liv Ullmann)
Making scrapbook pages can be a more relaxed and maybe faster than drawing process, but it also allows for organization of experiences to take place. The process of piecing things together can help us see things from a different angle and make connections, re order events and understand desires, decisions and choices, and this can often free up space for new evaluation, understanding and appreciation of experiences. As with all art journaling type activities themes can be further explored through writing, meditation, and other modalities. I have posted a scrap page sample I made with photos and stamps late last night. I had gone to town for errands in the evening and then stopped for a quick tea at a café, where I unwittingly picked up fragments of conversations from surrounding tables. Sweden seemed for some reason to be a common theme. Someone was talking about Swedish vacuum cleaner bags, another was talking about something else… innocent chit-chat that lingered in my mind and brought up my own ‘Swedish memories’, and that’s how I ended up creating a scrap page and leafing through old albums. 
In 1999 my family and I spent the Xmas holidays in Sweden, a fairy tale beautiful place, with a lot of cold, snow (as you can see in the photos) and natural ice rinks, great cheeses and fish dishes. In Lapland Sweden I felt awe at the brave people ice bathing, but I only got as far as going down the ice hole in a rubber suit and was more intimidated by the bottomless black hole than the cold. In one of the photos I am at my school, on the last day of term, meeting parents and giving out students’ class reports, a little before setting off for Sweden. But my love of Swedish things began way back in adolescence…. I might have watched Ingmar Bergman’s film, Autumn Sonata, at least three times, and Liv Ullmann was one of my favourite actors. My sister was learning Swedish at the time and had introduced me to a Greek writer, Theodor Kallifatides, who lives in Sweden. Later, when I became a mom Pipi Longstocking became a big part of my reading repertoire again.
‘All the children sat looking at Pippi, who lay flat on the floor, drawing to her heart’s content. ‘But, Pippi,’ said the teacher impatiently, ‘why in the world aren’t you drawing on your paper? …. I filled that long ago. There isn’t room enough for my whole horse on that little snip of paper.’ (Astrid Lindgren)
I’d also like to share another art activity from Allyson Bright: She suggests we create a page about a lie that we once told. The focus can be on the why, the how, the result, or any combination of those. Her story: ‘For my entire life, I have detested chocolate. My stomach turns at even the smell of it. This led to a lot of disappointing Halloween nights – at least for me….. Every single time it came up, and I told people that I hated chocolate, I was teased and told I was just plain wrong or even stupid. I got so very tired of hearing about how apparently defective I was, just because I didn’t want to eat this one food. When I moved to Iowa to attend to college, I was very aware that I was getting a clean slate in so many ways. The first time I was offered chocolate, a lie escaped my lips without even thinking about it. “I’m allergic,” I said. What a difference it made! Instead of being weird or dumb, I was now the subject of sympathy. “That’s horrible,” they’d say, and then it would be over. It was such a relief after the years of teasing I’d endured as a kid. I upheld the lie for several years, before finally admitting the truth…. Upholding the lie was exhausting, and it all seems so silly now. But it’s amazing what a teenager will do or say just to make the teasing stop. These days, I’m proud to let my freak flag fly, and I’ll happily admit I just don’t like chocolate. It’s easier, and it’s the truth….’.’
Today I’d like to share two art activities. The first one is from Allyson Bright to do with our name or names. Most of us have answered to more than one name in our lifetime. It maybe a nickname or pet name used by friends or family. Different people may use different versions of our names, which may be containers of love and tenderness, teasing, others’ expectations of us or their projections. We also have names that may define our roles at different phases in our life like Mom or Miss (teacher). Allyson Bright suggests we create a page about one of these alternate names – whether you loved it or hated it. I created a collage about my full name, Antonia, and then did some additional writing. This is Allyson Bright’s story of her pet names: ‘I grew up in the 80s, and the Rainbow Brite cartoon was soaring in popularity. Given my last name was Bright, it wasn’t long before the kids at school embraced calling me Rainbow. I didn’t like it at first, but I eventually embraced it – off and on, people called me Rainbow all the way through high school. I had one friend who tired of calling me Rainbow and decided I should go by Roy – as in Roy G. Biv. Rainbow Brite has been a huge part of my name, and somehow I feel like that just makes sense. Just like my cartoon namesake, I too, try to spread as much happiness and color into the world as possible’.
‘… FIRST FIVE SENSES ON THE FIRST RIM SEGMENT: Let go of the breath as a focus of attention and begin the focus on the first segment of the rim— the first five senses, attending to one sense at a time: hearing, sight, smell, taste, touch. INTEROCEPTION ON THE SECOND RIM SEGMENT: Take a deep breath and move the spoke over to the second segment of the rim, which represents the internal signals of the body. Systematically move the spoke of attention around the body…… (As you can see, in the sample I have posted here, when I reached the legs I feel rooted to the earth, I am touching the ground arose). MENTAL ACTIVITIES ON THE THIRD RIM SEGMENT: Take a deep breath and move the spoke over to the third segment of the rim, which represents mental activities. First part: Invite any mental activity— feeling, thought, memory, whatever— into awareness. Many things may arise or nothing may arise; whatever happens is fine. (Today I was surprised by a memory of a gift I had received ages ago on my name day from one of my classes. They had presented me with a large carton box and had led me to believe that it contained a puppy, but it turned out to be filled with gifts for me and my dogs. So the box had a blouse, a book, maybe some other things, too, as well as, dog treats and toys). Second part: Again, invite anything into awareness, but this time pay special attention to the way mental activities first arise, stay present, and then leave awareness. If a mental activity is not immediately replaced by another activity, what does the gap feel like before a new one arises? (A Xmas tree metaphor arose from Elizabeth Lesser book Marrow: A Love Story. She writes ‘the scanner records the energy given off by the radioactive substance and turns it into three-dimensional pictures. Areas of the body that contain the energy of cancer light up like bulbs on a Christmas tree…. The Christmas tree of her body lit with cancer energy everywhere’). HUB-IN-HUB WITH AWARENESS OF AWARENESS: Before we move the spoke of attention over to the fourth and final segment of the rim, we will explore the hub itself. In other words, we will strengthen our ability to be aware of awareness. This can be accomplished by imagining the bending of the spoke of attention around so it aims itself back into the hub; some prefer the image of retracting the spoke or simply leaving the spoke of attention in the hub of awareness. Whichever notion or visual image works best for you, the idea of this part of the practice is the same: awareness of awareness itself ….. You can now get ready to straighten and extend the spoke to the fourth and final segment of the rim, our relational sense. RELATIONAL SENSE OF OUR FOURTH RIM SEGMENT: In this final segment of the rim review, we’ll explore our connections with other people and things outside of these bodies we were born into. Let’s begin with a sense of connection to those physically closest to you right now. Open to the connection to friends and family . . . to a connection to people you work with . . . to people who live in your neighborhood, who share your community . . . who live in your city. . . . Open to a sense of connection to those who share your state or region . . . to people who live in your country. . . . Now open to a sense of connection to all people who live on earth . . . and now see if you can open that sense of connection to all living beings on earth. STATEMENTS OF KIND INTENTION: Now, knowing that science has recently revealed what wisdom traditions have known for many years— that cultivating intentions of kindness, care, empathy, and compassion can bring positive changes into our inner and interpersonal worlds— I invite you to repeat the following phrases silently, in your inner mind.….. May all living beings . . . be happy. May all living beings . . . be healthy. May all living beings . . . be safe. May all living beings . . . flourish and thrive. Now, taking a deeper breath, we send those same wishes, now more elaborate, to an inner sense of who we are, to a Me or I: May I . . . be happy and live with meaning, connection, and equanimity, and a playful, grateful, and joyful heart. May I . . . be healthy and have a body that gives energy and flexibility, strength and stability. May I . . . be safe and protected from all sorts of inner and outer harm. May I . . . flourish and thrive and live with the ease of well-being’.