Sharing

In a few days it will be the second anniversary of my mother’s passing away and I have of lately been thinking of motherhood, delayed individuation processes and grief processes, and then today, I came across this passage by Thích Nhất Hạnh:

‘The day my mother died I wrote in my journal, “A serious misfortune of my life has arrived.” I suffered for more than one year after the passing away of my mother. But one night, in the highlands of Vietnam, I was sleeping in the hut in my hermitage. I dreamed of my mother. I saw myself sitting with her, and we were having a wonderful talk. She looked young and beautiful, her hair flowing down. It was so pleasant to sit there and talk to her as if she had never died. When I woke up it was about two in the morning, and I felt very strongly that I had never lost my mother. The impression that my mother was still with me was very clear. I understood then that the idea of having lost my mother was just an idea. It was obvious in that moment that my mother is always alive in me.
I opened the door and went outside. The entire hillside was bathed in moonlight. It was a hill covered with tea plants, and my hut was set behind the temple halfway up. Walking slowly in the moonlight through the rows of tea plants, I noticed my mother was still with me. She was the moonlight caressing me as she had done so often, very tender, very sweet… wonderful! Each time my feet touched the earth I knew my mother was there with me. I knew this body was not mine but a living continuation of my mother and my father and my grandparents and great-grandparents. Of all my ancestors. Those feet that I saw as “my” feet were actually “our” feet. Together my mother and I were leaving footprints in the damp soil. From that moment on, the idea that I had lost my mother no longer existed. All I had to do was look at the palm of my hand, feel the breeze on my face or the earth under my feet to remember that my mother is always with me, available at any time’

The personal photos also have to do with motherhood and godparenting. In the first photo I am obviously pregnant. In this second one, my son and I are about to go out to dinner to celebrate our christening a friend’s baby son (2000), and in the third photo my young son is mesmerized by his godfather’s fishing skills…. (1990s).

And finally, a really interesting episode of  Insights at the Edge at http://soundstrue-ha.s3.amazonaws.com/subscriptions/media/PD05862W_Ron-Siegel.mp3, where Dr. Ronald Siegel, an assistant professor of psychology at Harvard Medical School, talks about the psychophysiological component in healing chronic pain and other health problems, about a practice he teaches called “Separating the Two Arrows” and how to make friends with fear, stress and anxiety, and also, how the medical profession is currently changing rapidly in its embrace of the practice of mindfulness. He teaches internationally about mind-body treatment and has authored many books including the book Back Sense: A Revolutionary Approach to Halting the Cycle of Chronic Back Pain, and also a co-author of the book Sitting Together: Essential Skills for Mindfulness-based Psychotherapy.

 Layered lived experience and nature meditations

‘Persistent problems, however unpleasant they may seem, contain the unprocessed and unexamined thoughts and feelings that, if left alone, keep you from your greatness. That’s why the pain, emptiness, and longing you feel can be your greatest gift—it can motivate you to examine parts of yourself that have been overlooked, forgotten, or hidden. It’s the irritant of sand in the oyster, which is the impetus for the pearl. In walking the conscious life path, you reveal your deepest Reality, layer by layer. You come home’ (From Your Ultimate Life Plan by Dr. Jennifer Howard)

  

A chakra meditation I have been engaging with recently and which has also influenced my drawing today….

Close your eyes. Take a few deep breaths and as you breathe out release the stress and tension in your muscles. With each breath pay attention to your muscles relaxing and the mind slowing down. Breathe into your first chakra or into your belly as deep down as you can, while imagining a red light of physical energy. This is your root or base chakra. Spend some time picturing a ball of red light glowing strongly at the base of your spine and reproductive region. This area has to do with survival, instincts and safety. Then you can explore what emotions, sensations and thoughts or images come up. Now move up just below your belly button, in your mind’s eye. You are now at your sacral chakra. Many important physical organs are located here, as with all our chakras. This area has to do with creativity and sexuality. Spend some time picturing a ball of orange energy and then observe what emotions, sensations, thoughts, memmories or images may come up. Move further up to your yellow chakra, the solar plexus chakra, a little above your belly button. This area stands for power, control and freedom to be yourself. Breathe into to this area while imagining a ball of yellow energy. Spend some time here observing what may come up or what may be blocking this area. Then move to your heart chakra, the green center for love, compassion and balance. Imagine a green ball of light washing over this area. Again you may explore what emotions, thoughts, images come up or what may be blocking this area. Now move up to the throat chakra. Imagine a light blue ball of energy clearing this area to allow free communication, speaking and self-expression. Then go to your third eye chakra, the indigo colored energy center located between your eyebrows. This is your vision center, the area of insight, imagination and intuition. Spend some time here exploring emotions, thoughts and other things that might be coming up. Now moving up from your third eye to the area just above the top of your head imagine a ball of violet light. This area has to do with spirituality connection, unity and knowledge. Spend some time paying attention to what may arise. Continue to breathe, allowing the air to move through your whole body. When you are ready open your eyes and come back to the now.