July 18th, 2023

A biopsychosocial approach

“Much of each brain’s circuitry at any given moment in adult life, is individual and unique,  truly reflective of that particular organism’s history and circumstances” Antonia Damasio

The infant who has attained calm attention has taken a first gigantic step on the road to fulfilment of her human potential” (Stanley Greenspan, cited in Mate)

“Although we think of attention as a function of the intellect, its deepest roots are in the subsoil of emotion.” Gabor Mate

Today’s post is about a book I’ve been reading by Gabor Mate: Scattered Minds: The Origins and Healing of Attention Deficit Disorder (2019). It also includes three new drawings inspired by Greek actresses of the past and a poem  by late  actress and poet Katerina Gogou.

Look how the roads get lost by Katerina Gogou (1981)

Look how roads get lost   /   within humans
how cold the kiosks  get   /   from the wet newspapers                          how the sky  /  is punctured  by the cables

And how the sea ends / from the weight of the ships
how sad the forgotten umbrellas stand   / on the last ride

And the mistake of the one that got off  /  at the wrong stop
the clothes left at the drycleaner’s  /  and your shame
after finding the money two years later / to  ask for them
how little by little  /  gradually, methodically  / they shape us
so that we determine our position in life  /  depending on the style of the chair

 

 

 

Gabor Mate is a retired physician, writer and speaker. His analysis in this book is, according to his own words, an attempt to synthesize the findings of neuroscience, developmental psychology, family systems theory, genetics and medical science, cultural and social trends and his own personal experience as a husband, parent and successful and respected family doctor, who was diagnosed with ADD in his fifties.  His three children have also received the diagnosis.  Before I go on I’d like to say that I think that the book could also be read as an example of how to avoid simplistic explanations and how to apply a more holistic biological and psychosocial approach to analyze and explore many facets of human experience.

A great part of the book is an exploration of the contributory factors. In the introduction Mate states that he believes that it is not, as often stated, a matter of genes or bad parenting; however,  both genes and parenting play a role. He believes that there is in ADD a predisposition [making it more likely depending on circumstances], not a genetic predetermination. He states that as many other things genes can be activated or turned on in the environment, but there can also be protective factors in the environment. He explains that although diabetes is considered to have a heredity component this cannot account for the pandemic among Canada’s native people and North American populations, for instance.  He also discusses problematic aspects of research findings in twin studies. He writes: “Neuroscience has established that the human brain is not programmed by biological heredity alone, that its circuits are shaped by what happens after the infant enters the world, and even while it is in the uterus. The emotional states of the parents and how they live their lives have a major impact on the formation of their children’s brains, though parents cannot know or control subtle unconscious influences.”

Broadly speaking the major features of ADD are poor attention skills, deficient impulse control and hyperactivity.  Mate describes how this higher level of distractibility can foster chaos and lack of order both in our lives and physical spaces. However, he clarifies that absentmindedness [and all other manifestations of ADD] are on the continuum of normal human traits and life would not be possible without our being able to shut out a large number of stimuli. Also, ADD can be situational, which is interesting and important to consider, especially, for students in educational contexts. Distractibility may not be consistent in all areas or subjects and one can have a hyper concentrated attention when it comes to subjects and activities they’re interested in or when the environment is conducive to learning.

In chapter 14, distractibility is discussed in relation to natural defenses and responses like fight- fight-freeze and dissociation and what happens when an infant through chronic distress and non optimal experiences needs to resort to these too often. Mate writes the infant cannot exist in a state of chronic negative arousal with adrenaline and other stress hormones pumping through its veins all the time, it needs to block it out, but the survival value of these psychological defenses are short lived. If this happens too often it becomes the default setting in the cerebral apparatus of awareness. Mate writes that nobody is born with “attention” and that being attentive is a skill like language or locomotion that children acquire through their relationship with the environment.

Hyperactivity is unregulated high arousal, appropriate in the young toddler. However, it is meant to be a stage and not a state that the child gets stuck in.  Mate claims that throughout our life it continues to be a human response during times of high anxiety, but again it’s not meant to be a constant state. It is usually expressed by difficulty keeping physically still, but can also take forms that are not obvious to the observer,  and it is not a requirement for diagnosis. He claims that it may be absent in a minority of cases, especially in girls. He writes that people with ADD experience their mind as a perpetual motion machine. They may have an intense aversion to boredom and higher levels of procrastination. Other manifestations of ADD might be rapid speaking, hopping from one topic to the other, and difficulty being succinct and brief when expressing an idea.

In chapter 5 Mate explores another feature that might be present, which is time illiteracy or what others have termed as time blindness and which can be a source of distress for people with ADD. This could involve always being late and rushing, believing one has all the time in the world and not being able to calculate the time required for an activity or living as if only the present exists and nothing else needs to be taken into account, often neglecting to consider the consequences of actions. The chapter also focuses on poor emotional regulation and impulse control and presents the neuroscience behind impaired ability in these areas. For instance, a major task of our prefrontal cortex is inhibition – the evaluation and selection or inhibition of the myriads of sensations and impulses reaching it from the environment, our body and lower brain centers.

Mate asserts that in ADD the cortex is functioning at a semidormant level, which explains the use of stimulant medications. He also clarifies that a complex condition like ADD cannot be traced in one part of the brain and in a later chapter he discusses the implication of specific areas like the orbital prefrontal cortex (OPC), which among other things is the centre of the brain’s reward and motivation apparatus and is also connected with the vision centers of the cortex that play a role in visual spatial orientation mentioned above.  He describes his own difficulty conceptualizing in three dimensions or divining the spatial relationship of things. The OPC also stores the emotional effects of experiences, and first and foremost, the infant’s interaction with primary caregivers, which become an unconscious model for all our later emotional interactions, for better or for worse, until we can become aware of and disrupt the patterns.

Mate uses vignettes from patients, friends and his own experience to describe what living with ADD might feel or look like for different people. As I read through the book I could not help thinking that there was an overlap between what was described and discussed here and other diagnoses like post traumatic stress or other clusters of symptoms / experiences, and that maybe ultimately, our priority should be the healing, resolving or managing of whatever experience or cluster of characteristics people present with that are causing them problems, discomfort or difficulty in living more optimally, especially, in our contemporary societies. As I mentioned above,  I felt that a lot of what is discussed in the book goes beyond ADD and provides a holistic perspective of examining or viewing our human experience.

Early on in the book Mate critiques the DSM for defining ADD for its external features,  which are referred to as symptoms,  not the emotional meaning in the lives of those that experience it because as he notes “The DSM is concerned with categories not with pain” (Dan Siegel). He also writes that what begins as a problem of society and human development has become almost exclusively defined as a medical ailment. He points out that even if in many cases medication can help, especially for a certain period, the healing that the ADD experience calls for is not a process of recovery from some illness. He suggests that “ADD defies categories of normality and abnormality. If anyone who exhibits any trait of it were to be diagnosed with ADD, we might as well put Ritalin in the drinking water…” and that learning about the psychological and biological mechanisms of ADD only gives a map to the self, but the map is not to be confused with the journey.  Our aim should be once we recognize this map to support the child, for instance, to fulfill its potential.

In chapter 3 Mate refers to the skepticism about ADD and the actual prevalence of ADD because all features of ADD are found to one degree or another in the non ADD population, and that lumping a group of personality features in a psychiatric manual  does not establish pathology. He quotes L.J. Davis who writes in relation to current psychiatric diagnostics and manuals that “every aspect of human life (excepting of course the practice of psychiatry) can be read as pathology.” In relation to “the spreading like wildfire fire” diagnosis of ADD mostly in countries like Canada, Northern America and the UK, Mate asks the question: Are children being drugged to suit the convenience of adults?

He writes; “Even for those, such as myself, who recognize the existence of the neurophysiological and psychological impairments conjointly named Attention Deficit Disorder / ADD, there are legitimate questions to be asked about the way it is diagnosed, how it should be understood and about its treatment, as well as, the tendency to bury many problems under tons of medications, preferring to ignore the social and cultural causes of people’s  stressed mental states, and the blaming of shortcomings or problematic experiences on biology and chemical imbalances. Therefore, it is important to wonder about the reasons there is so much emphasis on biological explanations and oversimplification of complex processes, and also, to realize that we need to tease apart layers of causality and dig below the presenting neurochemistry, for instance.  Mate quotes Dan Siegel who has remarked “We hear it said everywhere these days that the experience of human beings comes from their chemicals.”

As I said a big part of the book is devoted to exploring the causes that can contribute to or turn on any inherited predisposition for ADD. Through his personal narrative Mate points to the environmental roots of attention deficits and to the fact that love is not enough when parenting. In chapter 4 he writes about how unexpressed emotional conflict and unresolved grief and ignorance can result in unintentionally passing down from generation to generation less than optimal experience. He is candid about his own workaholic tendency, distractedness, feeling of duty towards the whole world, intense need to be liked, all of which provided him with a constant adrenalin rush, but had a negative impact on his family. He situates himself in relation to dynamics in his own marriage and family life, to show how despite the love  unresolved traumas and conflict of parents can have a less than optimal impact on their children, and also, how through a lot of hard work and new awareness his family was able to navigate this and be at a different place today.

Also a significant perspective presented by Mate in the book is the importance of viewing the ADD experience through developmental lens because as he claims once we recognize ADD as a problem of development (arrested in younger modes of functioning) rather than pathology, we are taken to a different direction from the illness model. For instance, hyperactivity is a normal stage of maturation of a child, but in ADD stages become states. When we recognize that time sense, self regulation and self motivation, for instance, are nature driven developmental tasks we can ask more appropriate questions like:

What conditions are needed for human psychological and physiological maturation and what conditions could inhibit or interfere with this growth process?

Mate cites child psychiatrist Stanley Greenspan who says “So few children grow up in truly optimal circumstances that we have no idea of what the parameters of development really are.”  The concentration of developmental problems may be both due to circumstances and to the fact that people are affected differently by similar conditions depending on their sensitivity level and temperament. Also, he reminds us that no two siblings grow up in the same environment since circumstances and parents change. In addition, we need to take into account that often parents have different unconscious attitudes towards each of their children and that siblings experience their parents differently.

There’s a chapter in the book on sensitivity, in which Mate explains that what is transmitted genetically is not ADD, but sensitivity and that the existence of sensitive people is an advantage to humankind because it is this group that best expresses humanity’s creative urges and needs. Mate claims that there would be valid and powerful evolutionary reasons for the survival of genetic material coding for sensitivity, and therefore, it is not a weakness or disease that is being inherited but a trait for intrinsic survival value to human beings. Furthermore, it has been observed that people on the continuum of ADD can have strengths like creativity, curiosity, conversational skills, high energy, hyper focus, spontaneity, nonconformity and resilience. They can be imaginative, inventive and resourceful.

In chapter 8 Mate analyses how basically the microcircuitry of the brain is formed by influences during our early years and that even the brains of identical twins will differ in terms of the shape of their nerve cells or the numbers and configurations of their synapses. He explains how our genetic potential for brain development can find its full expression only if circumstances are favorable. He describes what a favorable environmental for an infant might require. Apart from nutritional needs and shelter requirements, a secure safe and not too stressed emotional atmosphere is also necessary [which he notes is most likely to be disrupted in Western / industrialized societies] in order for the maturation of the human brain and nervous system to take place. He writes that one significant reason for the disturbingly high prevalence of ADD conditions in Western countries, especially, in North America, is the gradual destruction of family by economic and social pressures. He quotes Hallowell and Ratey to suggest that culture can feed and reinforce ADD and make ADD driven behaviours seem desirable and rewarding.

This chapter leads on to the next on attunement, which is the component of a larger process called attachment, which is essential for survival. The drive for attachment is part of the very nature of warm blooded animals in infancy, especially of mammals. Mate interestingly notes that ADD may equally stand for Attunement Deficit Disorder and that “attachment promotes attention, anxiety undermines it.” He highlights the fact that one-to-one attuned parenting is the ideal situation for child development in the early years, something which is not supported in most industrialized (Western) societies. He clarifies that the need of the young child for close parental contact does not mean the ghettoization of women at home. He also describes how he has made sense of his ADD traits in the light of his own early years and how being separated from his own mother for a short period of time as a newborn during the World War II impacted him and his mother. He adds that we don’t need a war and genocide for mothers to be stressed out and fathers to be absent or for women to be burdened with the full responsibility for the family’s emotional well being or for trauma to have occurred.

“The generations are boxes within boxes…”

Chapter twelve delves into intergenerational dynamics and how both positive and negative experience is passed down from one generation to another. He writes: The family as an institution has been put under enormous strain by vastly powerful forces in our society and culture. If we want to find the source of ADD that is where we need to look, but the family is the most immediate environment to act on us….  He concludes that in order to understand ourselves and our childhoods, we need to consider the positive and negative effects that our grandparents’ unconscious processes, attitudes, behaviours and circumstances had on our parents. When we do this we eventually realize that blame becomes meaningless and what is more important is the making sense of our experiences and the disruption of patterns.

To conclude, the second part of the book is focused on the possibilities of healing or growing out of ADD. However, I will end the post because it has evolved into a lengthy narrative.

Post election thoughts and unlearning anxiety                                 Edited

“Worrying does not take away tomorrow’s troubles. It takes away today’s peace.”
Judson Brewer, MD, PhD

“You see, anxiety hides in people’s habits. It hides in their bodies as they learn to disconnect from these feelings through myriad different behaviors.”  Judson Brewer

“Watch your thoughts. They become words. Watch your words. They become actions. Watch your actions. They become habits. Watch your habits. They become character.” Judson Brewer

I started writing this post on anxiety in the echo of the second round of the general elections in Greece on June 25th.  So, I’ve included a few thoughts on this. Abstention in these elections set a historical record, as almost half of those registered in the electoral rolls did not go to the polls, resulting in the highest abstention rate recorded, at least in the post junta period. There were regions in Greece where abstention reached almost 67%. Interestingly, the voters with the lowest abstention rate were the Greeks abroad. I felt that people before us have had to fight and even risk imprisonment and other consequences in order for us to be able to take voting for granted, and also, that this right is not even in place in some places in the world. If we cherish democracy, however imperfect it may be, exercising rights is important. There was more abstention the second time round which meant that maybe some people chose to visit the beach rather than go to the polls. One of the results is that many candidates from the smaller parties were left out, thus, decreasing the diversity of voices and opinions in parliament. It all saddened me, but I also pondered on whether through not voting people were making a point and that maybe this level of abstention reflected not only passivity and indifference, but also disappointment. The gifted Portuguese writer and recipient of the Nobel Prize in Literature, Jose Saramago, writes: “Abstention means you stayed at home or went to the beach. By casting a blank vote, you’re saying you have a political conscience but you don’t agree with any of the existing parties.”

However, today’s post is about anxiety, inspired by two recent podcasts I listened  to related to Judson Brewer’s work and new book on unwinding anxiety.  However, before I go on, I’d like to add something that I didn’t clarify in the previous post concerning all the different meanings of the word home in English because in Greek the word home does not include so many meanings. So, this paragraph is more relevant to the translation of the last post. The Cambridge dictionary firstly defines home as a house or apartment, where one lives, especially, with family, but home can signify the type of family we come from, a happy or a broken home, for instance. A home is also a place where people can live and be taken care of like a children’s home or an old people’s home. Home additionally means one’s place of origin or place that one might feel a sense of belonging. Home also means one’s country. In Greek we tend to use different words to express these different uses of the word home.

Speaking of home and belonging I’d like to share two old traditional songs that move me to tears sometimes. I’ve recently been listening to some traditional music as I’ve been reading and writing about home, belonging and identity. Some of these seem to connect me to my own sense of Greekness. The first is titled Ξενιτεμένο μου Πουλί / My bird in a foreign land. I recently came across a contemporary rendition by Alkyone, a young musician with an amazing voice [https://www.google.com/search?client=firefox-b-d&q=alkyoni+jenitememno+moy+pouli#fpstate……… ]. It talks about someone missing a loved one that has migrated to a foreign land. The second song is titled Neratzoula  / Little Sour Orange Tree. An amazing rendition by the actress Eleni Kokkidou at: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9ozAJhTab5I\

I’ve written about anxiety before, but not from the viewpoint of anxiety being a habit that we can learn to unlearn. In his new book Rick Hanson writes: “Anxiety can become chronic, a kind of habit, and hard to budge. People can even be anxious about not being anxious, since then they might lower their guard, and get hurt again. It’s important to realize that you can be alert and strong about potential threats while not feeling anxious.” As I mentioned I listened to two recent podcasts [on Tara Brach’s website or on YouTube], in which she and Judson Brewer, MD, PhD, discuss how anxiety is a habit that can be unlearned as we cultivate a curious and kind mindful presence. Dr Brewer offers the scientific grounds for this “unwinding”, drawing on his experience as a leading researcher in the field of mindfulness and addiction.  He treats anxiety similarly to addiction.  They talked about the genesis of worrying, how it perpetuates anxiety and ways we can become disenchanted with this habit, and also, explored particular mindfulness-based strategies like noting what is happening, recognizing our habit loops, arousing our curiosity and cultivating self-care.

Anxiety and fear are common human experiences. Brach comments that worry comes from the word strangle and that anxiety is also the waters we’re swimming in collectively. They discern between adaptive fear and non-adaptive fear and they introduce the idea of treating anxiety and worrying as a habit. Some of the many things people often do to soothe their anxiety, like: drinking alcohol, smoking, turning to chocolate or stress eating, checking phones compulsively, and so on, simply reinforce anxiety because the reward system in our brain is activated. For instance, instead of this hunger signal coming from our stomach, this emotional signal – feeling sad, anxious, etc – triggers the urge to eat. So, practically, every time we use something that momentarily provides pleasure or distraction from our anxiety or fear and triggers the reward system in our brains, negative reinforcement takes place creating a vicious cycle.

There’s a 10 minute video of a TED Talk on YouTube [24 February 2016] by Judson Brewer with the title: A simple way to break a habit, in which this process is briefly explained.

Both Brach and Brewer describe some of their own experiences related to anxiety. Brewer described his experience of panic attacks in his sleep during medical school and  Brach refers to anxiety rising during mediation, experienced as an existential clutch. I think anyone meditating for a while is likely to come into contact with this deeper layer of anxiety, which is present in all of us, to some extent or other, due to many causes, which we may be aware of or not [Gabor Mate writes that “People can be affected by unconscious anxieties and stresses they have no conscious knowledge of whatsoever.”], but also the mere fact that we are aware of our own and our loved ones’ mortality.

They also offer ways to unwind anxiety with awareness. This practically requires our becoming aware or mindful of the habit loop itself and of the quality of the reward, and then, finding the Bigger Better Offer (BBO),We need to notice our spiraling moments and become curious about our anxiety, to see where it is located and how it feels in our body.

One practice they go through is the RAIN practice, which has been more expanded upon by Tara Brach.  I have written about it in previous posts. The R stands for initially recognizing, in this case, the anxiety. The A for accepting what is and that it is here. John Pendergast further notes that when something might be too difficult to accept we might start with an open welcoming acceptance.  Also, I’d like to note that when engaging with exercises and activities it is important to remember that we need to let the pain stay for a while, allow it to transform and teach us, but not allow it to overstay and overwhelm us. We need to titrate the process. The I stands for inquiry, the investigation of bodily experiences and sensations, related core beliefs and thoughts, a getting in touch with the hurt or discomfort.  We might ask ourselves: What’s this anxiety about? What am I getting from this worry? Finally, the N stands for non-identification, which Tara Brach combines with nurture and kindness towards the self, which might involve nurturing ourselves through kind and compassionate words and soothing touch.  Brewer includes a noting process, which is a naming at a deeper level, and in John Pendergast’s adaptation the N is replaced by L, which involves a letting in of a deeper knowing and felt insight. Finally, Rick Hanson’s version of RAIN includes working with the mind after the 4 RAIN steps to build up more inner resources.

Ηome and homecoming                                                         Edited

Home and domicile; country and place of origin; migrations and homecomings; homecoming and belonging

PART ONE

Throughout our lives our domicile, our home, our home country  ies, our migrations, our many homecomings, our homecoming and belonging are all negotiated within our own self, in relationships and the broader cultural and geographic contexts we find ourselves in. I have lived in two countries, in many houses, in several places, and I have travelled a bit to places in Greece and abroad. I now live in a tiny scenic place, a speck on the map, not visible on the globe lamp I have in my sitting room, an island I planned to stay for a year or two, but instead built a home and dropped anchor there.

Depending on whether we’ve lived in one place all our lives or not the felt sense of home or homecoming can include a sense of weaving a net between all the places we’ve been or made a home. Wherever we may find ourselves our remembrances are with us. Home could be experienced as the sum of our experiences that in some sense sculpt our remembrance of all the homes we’ve created and the houses we’ve lived in.

Home is not only an architectural construction, but a psychological one. Juhani Pallasmaa [Finnish architect and writer] claims that “Home is an individualized dwelling, and the means of this subtle personalization seem to be outside our notion of architecture….. Home is an expression of personality and family and their very unique patterns of life. Consequently, the essence of home is closer to life itself than to artifacts.”  Pallasmaa also describes how our body is not separate from its domicile and how the elements of architecture are encounters that interact with memory. Our bodies and movements are in interaction with our environment, and the world and the self inform and redefine each other constantly. He writes: “The inhumanity of contemporary architecture and cities can be understood as the consequence of the neglect of the body and the senses, and an imbalance in our sensory system.”

Many books essays and articles have been written, and much research has been conducted, on the concepts in the title of this post. The concepts can be viewed through different lens and each concept can mean so much. This post today is mostly a loose thread of ideas and lived experience of others’ and my own.

Maya Angelou has said that “You only are free when you realize you belong no place — you belong every place — no place at all.”  Both belonging to ourselves and being grounded in the truth of also belonging here, living with the salient awareness that the planet is our home allows us to better negotiate both belonging and home. Brené Brown has interpreted this quote as follows: “We confuse belonging with fitting in, but the truth is that belonging is just in our heart, and when we belong to ourselves and believe in ourselves above all else, we belong everywhere and nowhere.” In her book, Braving the Wilderness, Brown writes: “Belonging is being accepted for you. Fitting in is being accepted for being like everyone else.

Homecoming can also be felt as touching something that is not necessarily linked to our origins, or the places we reside in, but simply our human essence. As we go about negotiating and exploring our sense of home, our homecomings and belonging I think it is important to remember that we are all an intrinsic part of this planet, the world, the Universe, but the Universe and the planet do not belong to us.

1973

I was born in Australia to Greek immigrant parents. I spent my childhood there and in 1973 we moved to Greece.

2004

I think it was in 2004 that I visited an art gallery in Athens. Can’t say I can recall details of what it was about, but I bought a booklet with the title Home Coming by Hilde Aagaard. It is a collection of different things related to the concepts of home, country and homecoming by artists, writers and other people. I recently had a look at it. Below are some ideas and thoughts about home and homecoming from the book. I’m not quoting, but rather providing the gist of the various pieces:

A suggestion is included in the book for an activity that I have engaged with myself, and if I recall correctly, have in the past used as a writing prompt for my students.

My somewhat adapted version:

Write about the first memory of a place, the first house that you remember in which you lived… focus on the façade, the interior, the ambience, a favourite nook or room, the garden or balcony, welcome any incidents, memories [or emotions] that might arise

Someone focused on being caught between two languages… This is something I can relate to. Being bilingual has brought me much joy and ease, for many years an income, as well as, some pain

Like Hansel and Gretel and other fairy tale characters we often try to find our way back home following breadcrumbs

Memories of houses and dreams of houses…  I  too often ask myself what can real houses  or our homes tell us about our dreams and what are the houses in our dreams telling us about our real life, our psychic structure

The theme of escaping from homes and making homes somewhere or anywhere

An extract from the book referring to the film by Christian Jacque,  La Loi c’est la Loi / The Law is the Law: “He cannot take a step to one country or the other without the risk of being beaten up as a foreigner; he is unable to move in either direction”

One contributor to the book expressed the sentiment of being / feeling rooted somewhere despite his many displacements

Someone else wrote:  “When I was small I used to hug the house on my return from holidays… stretched out my arms and touched the walls…” When my father decided it was time to sell our house and move to Greece there were tears.  I wanted to take a little soil from our Australian garden with me.

Another person describes how despite having lived in many houses in childhood, there  is one experiential home in childhood which moves with him as he has moved and travelled. It is transformed along the way

In a poem about homecoming the poet introduces the themes of mother tongue, of familiar skies and places, of loved ones, and on how on our returning home the places that we have visited become unreal, they feel flat on our return, and we need to fit back into our old skin.

Someone describes how when we return we have both changed and remained the same and the place we have returned to has changed and is also the same…. We vacillate between familiarity and unfamiliarity.

One person wrote about how returning to a childhood house can feel overwhelming. He writes: “the house became a rocking box of terror….”

For some people home was many places

And  someone asserted that home is love, but it still needs a place and time to unfold

2006

In 2006 I read John Bradshaw’s popular book, at the time, Homecoming: Reclaiming and Championing Your Inner Child, on coming home to oneself through revisiting our childhood, reparenting ourselves and restoring the truth

Quote from the book:

“In fantasy and myth homecoming is a dramatic event….In reality exile is frequently ended gradually, with no dramatic external events to mark its passing. The haze in the air evaporates and the world comes into focus…” Sam Keen

Recent decade

In her book, Letter to My Daughter, Maya Angelou wrote: “Thomas Wolfe warned in the title of America’s great novel that ‘You Can’t Go Home Again.’ I enjoyed the book but I never agreed with the title. I believe that one can never leave home. I believe that one carries the shadows, the dreams, the fears and dragons of home under one’s skin, at the extreme corners of one’s eyes and possibly in the gristle of the earlobe. Home is that youthful region where a child is the only real living inhabitant. Parents, siblings, and neighbors, are mysterious apparitions, who come, go, and do strange unfathomable things in and around the child, the region’s only enfranchised citizen. We may act sophisticated and worldly but I believe we feel safest when we go inside ourselves and find home, a place where we belong and maybe the only place we really do…”

“Attuning inwardly felt like a welcome home celebration.” Daniel J. Siegel

Homecoming is also a returning to our body senses and emotions, and to where we are right now.  Sometimes we achieve this through meditation or other mindfulness practices

Experiencing homecoming through or during meditation by Tara Brach:

This meditation focuses on the breath as an anchor for homecoming. We begin with an intentional breath and then establish the natural breath as a home base. The instructions are to rest in the breath. Other waves of sensation or emotion are included when they ask for attention as we cultivate an open and full mindful presence. Our freedom arises as we recognize the formless awareness that is our home, and the natural and ever-changing waves that live through us.

In at least three of his books, Hardwiring Happiness, Resilient and Neurodharma, Rick Hanson writes about the reactive and the responsive mode, which he calls the green zone, where we feel safe, content and a sense of belonging or connection. He believes this is our home base and that we can access this state throughout the day.

June 2023

As I was considering today’s topic  I purchased “The Half Known Life: In Search of Paradise”,  by the non-fiction writer Pico Iyer, who has travelled extensively and written about his travels. I have not read it yet, but I’ve been exploring his work a bit through listening to his talks.

In a talk on identity he discussed how some people are embedded in one culture and some live in the intersection of many cultures either through travelling and migration or diverse ethnic origins. It is also a fact that more and more people find themselves in a refugee status and there are more interacial couples and families. Iyer claims thta being in the intersection of many cultures can give us more lens to see the world. Through travelling and experiencing other cultures we can confront the world, our common humanity and our differences from a place of better understanding and acceptance. Iyer notes that the world is richer than our beliefs and what we know, and that ideas xenophobia and toxic populism can to some extent be overcome by travelling or / and coming into contact with other cultures.