Trauma & Art

‘Every word I say has chains round its ankles; every thought I think is weighted with heavy weights. Since I was born, hasn’t every word I’ve said, every thought I’ve thought, everything I’ve done, been tied up, weighted, chained?’ Jean Rhys

Making sense of the senseless pain  

……….. The experience of healing is an ongoing process of deeper understanding and self-discovery and awareness, and it seems that survivors have no choice but to work towards understanding, growing and overcoming because of the inherent nature of abuse and victimization and because there is no easy cure for what has often impacted them with such force. As C.Wisechild (2002) writes ‘healing is a lifetime of cleaning wounds and stitching them closed with the threads of creative understanding’. Moreover, survivors need not take the abuse personally because it is not about their inherent worth as human beings – it is something that happened to them, something that unfortunately happens to other people – it is not who they are and it does not define the totality of their identity. It is above all, about the perpetrator and it reflects the perpetrators’ brokenness, emotional deadness, cruelty, self serving attitudes, prejudices, unresolved issues and problems, often enhanced or reinforced by societal practices and dynamics, and not survivors’ lack of worth.  The journey of healing and restoration will at some point also make  one aware of the power indifferences, the helplessness, powerlessness and vulnerability of traumatized children and individuals. Along with this comes a realization that one did their best in unbearable and impossible situations and is not responsible for others’ behaviours and choices. During this journey one learns to tap into the resources that allowed them to survive and come this far in the first place. Having survived also makes one realize that goodness can prevail and that we can prevail over abusive pasts. Furthermore, L. Sanford (2006) suggests that ‘survivors have taken lessons from their trauma and developed sensitivity and skills that a non traumatized person might be less likely to have’ and Beverly Engel (1989) writes that survivors should give themselves credit for being one of the brave few with the courage to begin the journey and the determination to stick it out when the pain was unbearable (1987). So in the end, exploring our past and healing is a gift of love both to ourselves and the world. Having seen the shadow and the light of humanity, our human capacity to create both a heaven and a hell on this planet and our potential to be both capable of the most courageous and life affirming actions, as well as, the most destructive deeds, makes one understand that the only way to live and thrive is through respecting our own and others’ boundaries and through nurturing and protecting our children and this planet that we so often plunder and abuse. Judy Herman writes that ‘a survivor’s view of life may be tragic, but for the same reason she has learnt to cherish laughter. She has a clear sense of what is important and what is not. Having encountered evil, she knows how to cling to good. Having encountered the fear of death she knows how to celebrate life’ (Herman, 1987)………..

(short extract, 2012, Tonya Alexandri)

Doodling during tutorials on Concepts and Methods of Family Therapy

Relational and family dynamics are influenced by and develop within particular socio-political-spatial contexts.

I have often referred to Margaret Humphreys’ book, Empty Cradles, and her long battle to bring child migration to public attention, as well as, her on-going attempts to reunite families. I need to mention that her book has been very important for me and that I greatly admire her for all the courage and energy she has dedicated to this cause, despite the personal sacrifices she has made and the threats and attacks she has suffered. I too, am shocked each time I read about how governments, charities and religious institutions, supposedly committed to family values, designed or/ and supported these social policies and inhumane practices. Her book makes the terrible impact these government assisted child migrations or ‘Pied Piper Schemes’ had on the child migrants and their families all too clear. As one realizes through my posts and art work it is a subject dear to me and that is why it keeps reappearing. It is also important to mention that although I make references to her work and inevitably to British child migration schemes and adoption, many other governments have likewise engaged in tactics that separate families, depriving people of their roots and sense of belonging. One child migrant survivor in Humphreys’ book says ‘now astride two cultures, I have roots in none’ (Chapter 37). These child migration schemes resulted in people losing part of their identity and often children ‘were allocated new names and dates of birth…’.   Humphreys writes that the child migrants’ search for family is also a search for identity (Chapter 29). The following two extracts from her book clearly depict this and also the losses and pain suffered by the child migrants as a result of these policies.

‘Madeleine had spent 40 years in Australia and still felt she didn’t belong. She had no sense of background or heritage. A key part of her identity had been left behind…. Now she wanted to find it’ (Chapter 2).

‘Charles spent 40 years trying to find his mother. Unlike other child migrants, he knew he wasn’t an orphan….. Charles eventually found his mother, but it was too late to meet her. Nellie had died six years earlier… Kneeling beside her grave he said ‘Mother, I wish I’d found you were living….. We could have got to know each other, and you could have told me who I am – that’s important to me, to know who I am’ (Chapter 16).

As I mentioned above, similar separation tactics, forced adoptions and child migration policies are part of other countries’ social history, too. At the moment I am reading a Greek book – a comparative study of similar practices concerning the children victims of the civil wars in Spain and Greece- written by Loukianos Chasiotis. His book focuses specifically on the period after the Second World War until the 50s, in Spain and in Greece. The title of the book is The Children of the Civil War: From Franco’s Social Welfare to Frederica’s Charities 1936-1950 (Τα Παιδιά του Εμφυλίου: Από την Κοινωνική Πρόνοια του Φράνκο στον Έρανο της Φρειδερίκης 1936-1950, 2013, Εκδόσεις Εστία). I hope to write more once I finish reading the book.

Tonya Alexandri, October 11th, 2015

A family affair song to enjoy

“Traces of You,” combines elements of Hindustani and Western contemporary music. It is the co-creation of two sisters, Anoushka Shankar, sitarist, and Norah Jones, singer. The song is a ballad about people we have loved and lost and the traces they have left and it is a tribute to their father, the late great sitar musician, Ravi Shankar.