Wishes, human rights, The Pied Piper of Hamelin and the “Operation Pied Piper” during WWII, meditation and journaling practices, and more wishes for the New Year and always

This is the first post of the New Year and I would like to start by wishing us all health, prosperity and many, many personal joys, within societies that more and more, each day and year, move towards more democracy, peace and respect for human life and rights for all.

Recently, I had the opportunity to have a look at the Universal Declaration of Human Rights (UDHR) / https://www.un.org/en/about-us/universal-declaration-of-human-rights. The UDHR is a significant point in the history of human rights, and “is widely recognized as having inspired, and paved the way for, the adoption of more than seventy human rights treaties, applied today on a permanent basis at global and regional levels.” It more or less provides a universal human rights framework that supports that everyone, simply by virtue of being human, deserves freedom, respect, justice, and the opportunity to live a life free from discrimination and oppression, and that all human beings should enjoy freedom of speech and belief and freedom from fear and want.

In the preamble of the UDHR it is recognized that the inherent dignity and equal and inalienable rights of all members of the human family, are the foundations of freedom, justice and peace in the world, whereas, “the disregard and contempt for human rights have resulted in barbarous acts which have outraged the conscience of mankind,” and I would add, have also generated massive levels of waste of resources, loss, physical and mental distress, and trauma and dysfunction that are  passed down from one generation to another.

The second theme of today’s longish post relates to The Pied Piper of Hamelin, a fairy tale type story by Robert Browning. He wrote this poem for the entertainment of a young boy who was ill in bed, inspired by a legend that he remembered from his own childhood. It has become a children’s classic, although I think, like most fairy tales and myths, it’s suitable for adults, too, as these narratives have many levels of interpretation. I have a lovely 1993 unabridged edition of the Pied Piper poem, illustrated by Kate Greenaway. It belonged to my sister, but has been resting on my shelves for ages. Although my sister and I are quite different, we both have shared a love for books and an interest in and capacity for art since very early on, and arty books had at times travelled back and forth.

The possible historical facts and related speculations about the legend still generate a lot if interest and there are many theories around the actual facts that gave birth to the legend. The contemporary town of Hamelin held a festival in 2009 to celebrate the 725th anniversary of the disappearance of the town’s children. In one medical article, I recently read, a historical basis is proposed for the 13th-century legend of the Pied Piper. It is suggested that the children actually died in an outbreak of a disease and were buried in a common grave at the site of the legendary disappearance. The association with rats points to a rodent-borne infection.

There are various theories about the possible events that might be the basis of the legend, and some are discussed in a BBC article [https://www.bbc.com/travel/article/20200902-the-grim-truth-behind-the-pied-piper]. For instance, one theory suggests that the town’s youth were part of a migration of Germans to Eastern Europe fuelled by an economic depression. It is suggested that the Pied Piper played the role of a so-called locator or recruiter, who was responsible for organising migrations to the east and is believed to have worn colourful garments and played an instrument to attract the attention of possible settlers. Another theory refers to a 13th Century outbreak of dance fever that occurred in several places and in south of Hamelin, where a group of youths were documented as wildly gyrating as they travelled out of town, and in one chronicle it is suggested that they died shortly thereafter, having literally danced themselves to death, and those who survived were left with chronic tremors. However, others suggest that these theories  “don’t explain the very particular date cited for the loss of the children, and the local sense of trauma.” Historians wonder if perhaps something happened that officials had been covering up, something so traumatic that it was transmitted orally for so long in the town’s collective memory, over decades and centuries.

At one level, The Pied Piper of Hamelin, like most fairy tales is a didactic, morality story cautioning children, and adults, to be fair and to keep their promises. The Pied Piper is a musician who can weave entrancing tunes that initially mesmerize the rats that have infested the town, driving them to their death. However, once the mayor and the other dignitaries refuse to pay him for his service he plays a tune that entrances almost every child in the town. The children as if in a hypnotic state merrily follow him to the edge of the town, where they disappear into a mountain, never to be seen again.

However, this fairy tale is not the usual tale with a positive resolution, where good prevails and justice is served or where our hero or heroine after many trials defeats the various dragons and finds happiness. As a child the ending of the story left a trace of sadness. The separation of the children from their families and mothers seemed wrong and cruel and unfair and I didn’t really see how this was fit punishment for the mayor’s dishonest behaviour. I was too young to know that actually in the real world things often work like that. Take war for instance, where often innocent people and children suffer due to decisions made by forces beyond them. There is also the issue of the town people being complicit or apathetic to the decisions of the authorities, but I didn’t know that either. My attention was captured by the loss of the parentless children and the childless parents, for the loss of one’s caregivers is a child’s biggest fear.

Even though I was a child I also felt that a place with no children would be a very grim place, indeed. Farley [read below] provides an extract from Murrow & Davis (1941), to describe this feeling invoked after the evacuation of children during World war II: “It’s dull in London now that the children are gone. For six days I’ve not heard a child’s voice. And that’s a strange feeling. No youngster shouting their way home from school. And that’s the way it is in most of Europe’s big cities now. One needs the eloquence of the ancients to convey the full meaning of it. There just aren’t any more children.” There are many historical events throughout time involving the mass migration of children or the removal of children from their families for a variety of reasons. Currently, the death toll of children in Gaza brings all this to the foreground. On November 23rd, The Human Rights Watch released  a report saying that since October 7, one child in Gaza has been killed every 10 minutes on average and an estimated 5,500 children had by thet point been killed in Gaza, and hundreds more were reported missing and may be trapped under the rubble. A week ago The Guardian reported 8,000 deaths of children, and numbers are still rising. An important point is made in an article in the UNICEF website: “The cost to children and their communities of this violence will be borne out for generations to come” [https://www.unicef.org/emergencies/children-gaza-need-lifesaving-support]. 

Additionally, as with most myths and fairy tales its interest also lies in its symbolic resonance with the psyche or the mind. Exploring fairy tales at this level awakens us to both outer and inner realities. In some sense fairy tales put us to sleep when we are young, but the same stories have the capacity to awaken us as adults. What might the mayor, the piper, the rats, the children, the town and townspeople represent in our psyche and to what extent are these qualities present in us? It has been suggested that the rats might represent the darker side of our human nature like greed, malice, cruelty and dishonesty or disowned instincts and aspects of self. The children might represent our inner children or all the younger parts of ourself , the ones that hold our traumas and the ones that hold our joy and talents, buried and hidden in the cave of our subconscious. Perhaps the tale cautions us that a price is to be paid when we banish or suppress and deny aspects of our psyche, both the painful experiences and our potential and aspirations.

There are many questions to be asked if one wanted to engage in an interesting exploration: What do the rats symbolize in the outer world or in certain cultures? What do they symbolize in our inner worlds? What does the disappearance of the children into the cave represent in our psyche? What do the mayor and the Pied Piper represent both in the external world and in our psychic space?  Could the mayor symbolize authority and power gone awry? Who might be playing a mesmerizing tune for us and where might it be leading us? Is the Pied Piper good or bad or both? Does he represent death?  Could the Pied Piper be anything or anyone that can manipulate, control or lock up aspects of our psyche? Might the Piper be an internalized censor figure or someone leading us astray? Could he be the gatekeeper of younger aspects of our psyche? What does the cave or mountain represent?  Could the mountain be the subconscious and all that is buried or not easily available to our conscious mind?

Finally, I came across an interesting article by Lisa Farley. In her article with the title: ‘OPERATION PIED PIPER’: A PSYCHOANALYTIC NARRATIVE OF AUTHORITY IN A TIME OF WAR I learned that the massive evacuation of British children during World War II was actually named “Operation Pied Piper.” Farley writes that the  evacuation was considered “the most carefully planned logistical operation affecting children which the world has ever witnessed” (Lowndes, 1969, cited in Gartner, 2010). However, the evaluation of the scheme and its implementation despite its goal to save lives has not been all positive and contemporary studies offer evidence of the evacuation’s failures, which was “not envisaged as a social, but simply military question.” It was controversial from the start, and even though the children were successfully evacuated, the price was a large-scale emotional trauma and disruption. Former evacuees have offered oral testimony and autobiography about the effects of the evacuation on their lives and there are hundreds of testimonies that include experiences of abuse and abandonment. The psychoanalyst Anna Freud found that London children were less upset by bombing than by evacuation to the country as a protection against it.

Farley writes that the legendary name, ‘Operation Pied Piper’, which hints at themes of betrayal, loss and ambivalent leadership, seems to offer an apt commentary on the underside of the evacuation; however, she notes the question of the allegorical significance of its title has so far being surprisingly untouched. She refers to D. W. Winnicott, an important figure of child psychiatry and psychoanalysis, who argued for an increased sensitivity to children, and his wife Clare Britton, social worker and psychoanalyst, who both turned their attention to the problem of authority becase on the one hand, Freud had just died, and on the other hand, leadership had gone terribly wrong under Hitler’s dictatorship.

Apart from the more known messages of this tale Farley suggests that it was “another of the legend’s motifs – on following a charismatic leader – that got invoked in the ominous context of World War II.” She refers to an image of ‘The Crazy Piper’ that appeared in newspapers in 1934. It featured a swastika-clad musician leading a group of Hitler youth to an anti-Semitic tune of total destruction. She also writes that Erich Weinert invoked the question of the ‘piper’ in his 1941 poem ‘Hitler’s Nightsong,’ in which the rats are not dancing to the piper’s tune as the writer wanted to address the counter-dictatorship melody to soldiers with a view to convincing them to abandon their position behind German lines. Farley writes that Weinert seemed to be asking: what if the soldiers responsible for actualizing Hitler’s hatred ‘no longer danced’ to his dictatorial tune? Could they then begin to listen to an internal moral compass that opposed the regime?

However, she adds that missing from the anti-Nazi piper accounts is a more terrible historical truth because as the legend goes, it was not only the mayor, but also the townspeople who were implicated. Their implication was that of apathy, of standing by. She explains that the question of the bystander could not  be represented in the years after the war, but in 2003 Hannah Arendt posited that the fixation on an evil leader, and no reference to the idle masses wards off the question of  “personal responsibility under dictatorship” for instance. Additionally, Mieder (2007, cited in Farley) suggests that the emphasis on a vindictive piper served an important psychological function because it offered the townspeople of Hamelin a scapegoat because in blaming the piper, only ‘a little guilt’ needed to be attributed to the local authorities and the townspeople.

Farley clarifies that the British evacuation of children worked on totally different terms from the context of Hitler’s final solution, and the aim of the British operation was to save lives, but she suggests that the official code name of the rescue mission, ‘Operation Pied Piper’, reveals more, and this is supported by two key surveys of the evacuation, which expressed misgivings about the event from the start. Both surveys highlighted the event’s failures not only in terms of its ‘routine organization’, but also the breakdown of ‘personal relationships’, as in the context of the evacuation, a child’s worst fears and fantasies became terribly literal. She claims that held in its code name were worries about the losses that would inevitably be incurred in the rescue effort, and which many child workers, Britton and Winnicott among them, dared to speak out loud. They not only focused on the effects of the separation on children, but Winnicott also asked about what the evacuation did to caregivers and parents.

British analysts like Isaacs, Winnicott, and others, Farley writes, seemed to be asking: “what unspoken meanings – such as loss, betrayal and abandonment – are held within the evacuation’s legendary namesake? What cannot be spoken in what is officially being said?” Winnicott also focused on the dynamics of authority. In his 1941 broadcast, ‘On influencing and being influenced’, Winnicott urged listeners not to confuse thinking with compliance to authority. Farley writes: “For him, thinking was an act of courage that resisted ‘defensive subservience’: which he described as ‘a holding open of the mouth with the eyes shut, or a swallowing whole without critical inspection.”

I would also like to include some exercises and tools for those who might be interested in engaging with them.

A guided meditation practice called Radical Acceptance of Pain from Tara Brach’s book. I think the exercise could be useful for physical pain, but also emotional distress:

“Find a comfortable position, sitting or lying down. Take a few moments to become still, relaxing with the natural rhythm of the breath. Gently scan through your body, relaxing your brow and jaw, dropping your shoulders and softening through your hands. Try not to create any unnecessary tension in your body. Where is the area of strong discomfort or pain that calls your attention? Bring a receptive attention directly to the unpleasant sensations in that part of your body. Notice what happens as you begin to be present with this pain. Is there an attempt, however subtle, to push the pain away?……. Is there fear? You might notice how the body and mind clench like a fist in an attempt to resist pain. Let your intention be to remain present, allowing the unpleasant sensations to be as they are. Soften any reaction against the pain, allowing the fist of resistance to unclench and open………..

What is the experience actually like? Do you feel burning, aching, twisting, throbbing, tearing, stabbing? Does the pain feel like a knot, a constricting band? Does the area feel as if it is being pressed down or crushed by a great weight? Are the unpleasant sensations diffuse or focused in their intensity? How do they change as you observe them?

Investigate with a nonreactive, soft attention. Allow the sensations you may feel as a solid block of pain to unfold and move in their natural dance of change. When resistance arises, relax again, reestablishing a sense of openness. Be aware of your entire body, including the areas that aren’t painful. Let the body become like open space, with plenty of room for unpleasant sensations to arise and dissolve, fade and intensify, move and change. No holding, no tension. Inhabit the sea of awareness, and let any painful sensations float in an accepting openness. Try not to judge yourself for reacting when pain feels like too much…… Take care of yourself in whatever way provides ease and comfort. Over time if you practice mindful presence of pain for even a few moments at a time, equanimity will increase. You will be able to more readily let go of resistance and open to unpleasant sensations.”

Two journaling ideas:

There are many ways to journal and myriads of questions and prompts one can use to glean insight and clarity or process experience.  Maybe for the end of the year and the beginning of a new one we might like to engage with a more appreciative inquiry and chose to focus on the positive, both in terms of what we have achieved so far and what we might be grateful for in the moment, as means to both bring contentment and clarity, but also empowerment and a renewed sense of agency. There are many resources and ideas in books related to these two themes or types of journaling and reflection practices that one can look up.

For the first theme we might focus on or recall past moments of agency or milestone achievements, perhaps moments in our life like birth of children, graduations and degrees, important relationships, putting kids through college, the building of houses, businesses and careers, creative endeavors, and so on, but also, small things like planting a tree or a small garden, rescuing a stray animal or going out of our way to help someone or kindle and support someone’s aspirations. The exercise will remind us of the difficult things we’ve managed to complete and see through or the things that brought us to our knees and yet we managed to somehow live through, or things that required some level of courage, sacrifice and sustained effort over years and even decades.

To refer to slivers of my own experiences, working sixty hour weeks and building a business while being a mother to a very young child, and taking care of family, pets and home without many resources required a lot of that. Returning to studying in my forties took some fortitude and lots of effort and perseverance. Rescuing and taking care of stray animals has warmed my heart, brought me joy, and also required processing of many losses. Maintaining this website is another kind of lengthy process that has required resourcefulness and sustained effort and courage, and also making the choice to put up with push back in many forms. The art that I have “churned out”,  the 762 posts and other things I have written, translated and posted here have not only required countless hours and much effort, but also moving through the physical discomfort that arose for a long while, the walls of censorship and the anticipation of bad behaviour from others. I’ve kept going for several reasons, two being the urgency to express myself through art and writing, and my strong belief in human rights, democracy and freedom of expression and being for all.

Engaging with this exercise might remind us of our many good intentions, care, love and effort that have gone into living that many of us often forget, as we tend to focus on what has not turned out as we hoped. It will also bring the bigger picture and the contexts we’ve inhabited into the foreground, and a realization that even though the years go by quickly, each year in itself contains a lot of living, a lot of caring about and caring for others, a lot of effort, and a lot of small or more important things done. It will remind us of the roads we’ve taken and the places we’ve been and the many people that have crossed our path.

This kind of exercise will most likely bring up regrets and thwarted or unrealized dreams, but experiences are seen within broader lens that include circumstances, odds stacked against us to a greater or lesser degree, levels of agency and survival pressures, levels of knowing and ignorance or naiveté. It will definitely bring up warm feelings of nostalgia and even awe, and it can help us lovingly embrace our life and younger selves. Moreover, it can remind us to be more appreciative of our journey and help us disentangle the good and wholesome of past experiences from the parallel dynamics that might have undermined, coloured or eroded these same experiences. Finally, it will most likely increase our sense of self worth and compassion for self and others. The fact that we are still here, despite and in spite of it all, might also come into sight.

Gratitude journaling is a simpler and more straightforward activity, but not unrelated to the above. With both exercises we can also free-associate, which might bring up some surprising information.  We can focus on what we’re grateful for in our lives right now, what we’re grateful for about the past, like things that happened or things we pursued or fought for. Finally, our gratitude practice can have a future orientation.  This involves reflecting on the things we would be grateful for in the future, which can help clarify desires or put things into perspective. I tend to focus on gratitude frequently throughout the day as a practice. It comes more naturally, and it frees up space for me to journal on other things, but writing allows for more insight to emerge and a broader sense of gratitude to arise.

Finally, I will end today’s piece with more wishes. This is an extract from one of the meditations provided in Tara Brach’s book. It’s in the first person, but we may wish this both for ourselves and for others:

May I (you) be filled with lovingkindness; may I (you) be held in lovingkindness. May I (you) accept myself just as I am. May I (you) be happy. May I (you) touch great and natural peace. May I (you) know the natural joy of being alive. May my (your) heart and mind awaken; may I (you) be free.

End of the year post

“Stone did not become apple. War did not become peace. 
Yet joy still stays joy. Sequins stay sequins. Words still bespangle, bewilder…”
Jane Hirshfield

“The boundary to what we can accept is the boundary to our freedom.”  Brach, Tara

“There is something wonderfully bold and liberating about saying yes to our entire imperfect and messy life.” Tara Brach

 “…. competence, autonomy, and relatedness, have been identified…… as these fundamental psychological needs that tend to lead to more intrinsic motivation….” Being Well podcast

This is the last post for this year. After considering various ideas I finally decided to write about Tara Brach’s book, Radical Acceptance, which I’ve been reading, refer to a few of my favourite children’s books, provide a link to a Being Well episode on generativity and productivity,  and include the poem Counting This New Year’s Morning: What Powers Yet Remain in Me by poet Jane Hirshfield, and two recent watercolours with a Christmassy spin…

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I’ve been familiar with Tara Brach’s work and meditations on radical self-acceptance for several years, through articles and other material, and her online talks and meditations, but lately as I was thinking about the interdependence and tight link between psychological integration and acceptance I decided to buy the book. Tara Brach is a clinical psychologist and a renowned meditation teacher, and in this book she combines personal stories and concepts, case studies and meditation practices from her professional experience to create a map of a personal journey to more wholeness, presence and clarity. The book is also informed by Buddhist concepts and stories, but I think it can easily be read and used by people who are not familiar or interested in Buddhism. In my view, a lot of the value of the book lies in the exploration of our human experience in the moment and ways to work with our bodily experience and emotions, and awaken to our inherent worth amidst what is going on in our lives. In this book Brach rejects the notion that we are inherently flawed and deficient beings, and highlights the need to compassionately embrace ourselves and our lives, something that most of us have not been taught to do, at least in the West.

To be honest, I have been weary of the over focus of the self-help industry on acceptance, which to some extent, smacks of resignation and seems like an admonition to passively accept socioeconomic circumstances and dynamics and the way that things have always been. Sometimes it can sound like advice to people to accept their lot with a smile, without responding or rocking the boat. So whether it is bad treatment from others, inequity and marginalization of people, layoffs and decreases in wages or the further destruction of the environment by industries, to name just a few, we are advised to accept it all as inevitable and part of life.

In this book, Brach clarifies that Radical Acceptance is not self-indulgence or resignation or an excuse for withdrawal. It also does not mean defining ourselves by our limitations, nor does it make us passive. She says: “Radical Acceptance reverses our habit of living at war with experiences that are unfamiliar, frightening or intense.” She suggests that real acceptance is about fully acknowledging what is happening, feeling the emotions and sensations of the difficult or painful experience, which  increase presence and clarity, reduce the possibility of our being hijacked by our emotions and creates space for  a wiser or more helpful response. It can also facilitate healing and processing unresolved grief, and it allows us to let go of constriction in our bodies. Acceptance of our experience cuts through our psychological defenses like denial or dissociation or addictive behaviours and allows us to confront what we avoid or can’t bear to fully acknowledge.  She writes: “Not only do our escape strategies amplify the feeling that something is wrong with us, they stop us from attending to the very parts of ourselves that most need our attention to heal. As Carl Jung states in one of his key insights, the unfaced and unfelt parts of our psyche are the source of all neurosis and suffering.”

There are twelve chapters in the book and I will briefly refer to a couple of them. Brach begins the book by discussing what she calls the trance of unworthiness that we all seem to experience to some extent, which she explains is rooted primarily in the notion of being unworthy and separate from others. She claims that feeling unworthy goes hand in hand with feeling undeserving, separate from others and separate from life. For some it can show up as pride, grandiosity or arrogance, which she believes is the flip side of the trance of unworthiness.

Moreover, she writes that the sense of unworthiness and insecurity keeps us from realizing dreams, and that “as we free ourselves from the suffering of “something is wrong with me,” we trust and express the fullness of who we are.” She explains that we waste our precious lives by carrying the belief that something is wrong with us, which can often be lodged deeply in our subconscious mind. However, she writes because it is often deeply entrenched in us it is not easy to let go and heal; therefore, awakening from the trance involves not only inner resolve, but also an active training of the heart and mind. She has found that through awareness practices, we can free ourselves by learning to recognize what is true in the present moment, and by embracing whatever we see with an open heart. This cultivation of mindfulness and compassion is what Brach calls Radical Acceptance.

Brach discusses how we live in a culture that breeds separation and shame, where we learn from early on in our families, schools, workplaces and other contexts that in order to belong we need to compete and prove our worthiness, where “someone is always keeping score.” This she writes is especially true in the West, where the cultural message is that something is fundamentally wrong with us and that basically we are flawed by nature and we don’t deserve to be happy, loved and at ease with life; therefore, ,we must strive hard to overcome our flaws by controlling our bodies, our emotions, our natural surroundings, and other people.  We often project these feelings outward and make those we perceive as different from us the enemy, the Other. Brach writes that as we internalize this view of our inherently flawed nature, we become ensnared in the trance of unworthiness and we each develop a particular blend of strategies designed to hide our perceived flaws and compensate for what we believe is wrong with us.

Brach adds that believing that we are separate and incomplete, and, wanting and fearing are also part of evolution’s design to protect us and help us to thrive, but when they become the core of our identity, we lose sight of the fullness of our being, and we become identified with, at best, only a sliver of our natural being, “a sliver that perceives itself as incomplete, at risk and separate from the rest of the world. If our sense of who we are is defined by feelings of neediness and insecurity, we forget that we are also curious, humorous and caring. We forget about the breath that is nourishing us, the love that unites us, the enormous beauty and fragility that is our shared experience in being alive.”

In the second chapter, Awakening from the Trance: The Path of Radical Acceptance, she writes that maybe the biggest tragedy in our lives is that freedom is possible, yet we can pass our years trapped in the same old patterns as we get used to caging ourselves and gradually become incapable of accessing the freedom and peace that are our birthright  Brach asserts that our way out of this cage begins with accepting absolutely everything about ourselves and our lives, by embracing with compassion our moment-to-moment experience. We become aware of what is happening within our body and mind in any given moment, without trying to control or judge or push down or distract ourselves.

She clarifies that this level of acceptance does not mean putting up with harmful situations or not seeking personal or social change. Instead it is an inner process of accepting our actual, present-moment experience. And it requires we feel our sensations, emotions, desires, sorrow and physical pain without resisting or judging. She writes: “Clearly recognizing what is happening inside us, and regarding what we see with an open, kind and loving heart, is what I call Radical Acceptance. If we are holding back from any part of our experience, if our heart shuts out any part of who we are and what we feel, we are fueling the fears and feelings of separation that sustain the trance of unworthiness. Radical Acceptance directly dismantles the very foundations of this trance.”

She describes how genuine acceptance consists of two parts: seeing clearly and holding our experience with compassion. Clear seeing is mindfulness, and it is the quality of awareness that recognizes exactly what is happening in our moment-to-moment experience, and going to the root or origin of our experience. We become more aware of the intentions that motivate our behavior and the consequences of our actions both on ourselves and others. Brach writes: “Our attentive presence is unconditional and open—we are willing to be with whatever arises, even if we wish the pain would end or that we could be doing something else. That wish and that thought become part of what we are accepting.” Compassion involves tenderness towards our self and honors our experience as it is. It also makes our acceptance wholehearted and complete.

Brach also clarifies that the inquiry process suggested here is not a kind of analytic digging, in order to understand what caused a current situation, rather the intention of this kind of inquiry is for us to focus on our immediate feelings and sensations and to awaken to our experience exactly as it is in this present moment. She explains how Western psychology holds that aspects of our psyche that are not seen and consciously named exert control over our life. Therefore by naming what arises and relating to it with friendliness rather than fear diminishes its power and we are no longer driven by it. Engaging with the various practices suggested in the book can clear the debris and layers that often blind us, and can help us release,, one breath at a time, unhelpful long held beliefs and suppressed emotions, which in turn supports our changing within and our responding and acting out in the world.

This kind of sitting with our experience and feeling our discomfort or restlessness requires courage and resolve, and often in the quietness and stillness trauma, grief and other painful experiences may come up or we may be flooded by emotions or sensations. Because unprocessed pain keeps our system of self-preservation on permanent alert, stillness and focusing on our breath can activate pain and fear stored in our body. If this is the case, at least at the beginning we might require support and therapeutic or trauma informed guidance. Our fear or anger can often proliferate into a web of stories, and our grief may overwhelm us, but as Brach notes, as we engage with the practices / exercises we understand that all our reactions to people, situations, and our narratives and thoughts are basically reactions to the kind of sensations that are arising in our body. She concludes that “While there are times in our life we might have had no choice but to contract away from unbearable physical or emotional pain, our healing comes from reconnecting with those places in our body where that pain is stored.”

In the next post I might include one of the several tools / practices provided in the book.

I’ve also chosen four beautifully illustrated books for children, and adults, related to the spirit of Christmas and war.

The Christmas Miracle of Jonathan Toomey written by Susan Wojciechowski and illustrated by P.J.Lynch is a moving tale of the love and generosity people hold in their hearts, even though it may not always be apparent at first sight. Jonathan Toomey, a fine woodcarver, is always alone and unsmiling, and nobody knows about the mementos of his lost wife and child that he keeps in an unopened drawer. But one winter’s day, a mother and her young son approach him with a request that changes all this.

The Gift of the Magi written by O’Henry and illustrated by Lisbeth Zwerger is a classic piece of American literature. It is set in New York at the turn of the twentieth century and it tells the story of a young couple and the value of love, which can be a haven from poverty and the harsh world outside. It was first published in 1905

The Lion and the Unicorn by Shirley Hughes is about a young boy, Lenny Levi, living in London during the Blitz in World War II, who is evacuated to a large mansion in the English countryside away from his Mom. Once there he has to deal with homesickness, loneliness, bullying and nightmares, but as he tries to adjust to the many changes he finds the true meaning of courage.

WHY?  Is a picture book by Nicolai Popov. It’s an allegory and commentary on war and its futility for children. It has no words in its original form, but in the Greek edition, ΟΙ ΜΕΓΑΛΟΙ ΠΑΙΖΟΥΝ TON ΠΟΛΕΜΟ: ΓΙΑΤΙ; the images are accompanied by text written by Πέτρος Γαϊτάνος and Μαριάννα Κριεζή. The book communicates its message through images. At the beginning we view the beautiful countryside, but bad events progress rapidly as violence escalates to the point that the once beautiful landscape becomes a charred, barren wasteland.

A poem by Jane Hirshfield

Counting This New Year’s Morning: What Powers Yet Remain in Me

The world asks, as it asks daily:
And what can you make, can you do, to change my deep-broken, fractured?

I count, this first day of another year, what remains.
I have a mountain, a kitchen,  two hands.

Can admire with two eyes the mountain,
actual, recalcitrant, shuffling its pebbles, sheltering foxes and beetles.

Can make black-eyed peas and collards.
Can make, from last year’s late-ripening persimmons, a pudding.

Can climb a stepladder, change the bulb in a track light.

For four years, I woke each day first to the mountain,   //   then to the question.

The feet of the new sufferings followed the feet of the old,   //   and still they surprised.

I brought salt, brought oil, to the question. Brought sweet tea,
brought postcards and stamps. For four years, each day, something.

Stone did not become apple. War did not become peace.
Yet joy still stays joy. Sequins stay sequins. Words still bespangle, bewilder.

Today, I woke without answer.      //     The day answers, unpockets a thought from a friend

don’t despair of this falling world, not yet    //   didn’t it give you the asking

Finally, a podcast to maybe listen to by Forrest and Dr Rick Hanson at: https://rickhanson.com/being-well-podcast-harnessing-your-generativity-the-secret-to-productivity-creativity-and-consistency/

Some of the topics discussed are: productivity and our generative drive; motivation, aggression and creativity; the process of making something as a form of healing; the role our self perception plays; the three necessary factors that contribute to our ability to remain generative: competence, autonomy, and relatedness; agency and being aware of what we can and cannot influence; the importance of a work ethic and effort; the role of passion and enjoyment, and finding our why.

My trip to Athens: What I read, saw and listened to                                           Edited 8/12/2023

Have compassion for everyone you meet,  //  even if they don’t want it. What seems conceit,

bad manners, or cynicism is always a sign   //  of things no ears have heard, no eyes have seen.

You do not know what wars are going on  //  down there where the spirit meets the bone.

From The Ways We Touch: Poems  by Miller Williams

“Indeed, one reason for the idea of “liberated” HSPs [highly sensitive persons], was the seemingly odd mixture of traits emerging from study after study of gifted adults: impulsivity, curiosity, the strong need for independence, a high energy level, along with introversion, intuitiveness, emotional sensitivity, and nonconformity.” Elaine N. Aron

“Relationships shape health outcomes throughout the life course and have a cumulative impact on health over time…”  Debra Umberson and Jennifer Karas Montez

“We are the landscape of all we have seen”  Isamu Noguchi, Japanese-American artist

After almost two years on the island with no breaks I spent a few days in Athens. I visited family, had a medical check-up, and did some dental work. I also managed to squeeze in a visit to the new National Gallery, something I felt I wanted or needed to do for ages. So, today’s post is about some of what I managed to read, listen, see and observe amidst the busyness and the hours stuck in traffic…..

While packing I listened to the week’s Being Well episode that included several topics with Forrest and Dr Rick Hanson. The first theme involved communication habits and strategies in relationships and the need to talk about how we talk, Rick Hanson says “My rule of thumb personally is that significant relationships need to be able to talk about talking and they need to be able to repair. Both of those are absolute gold standard virtues,” They touch upon what might consist abuse, various power dynamics, the strategies of distancing and controlling what can be discussed, the function of communication behaviours, and the difference between being long-winded or chatty, which is just a tendency, and filibustering somebody else, which can be abusive and which Forrest Hanson says “is really problematic, because that’s the only one where there’s a power assertion being made inside of the relationship.”

Another topic discussed was the natural temperamental spectrum of humans, and how socialization, events in their lives and their current conditions, interact with their natural tendencies, for better or worse.  Their focus is mostly on competitiveness and sensitivity. Some people tend to be intensely competitive, which is sometimes connected with a certain amount of aggressiveness, and need to dominate. They also mention the biological rootedness of social comparing in our nature as social primates. Rick Hanson says that humans are designed to compare ourselves to others, and this is part of our capacity to feel shame, which also generates our feelings of inferiority and less than, but this is kind of a necessary basis for the co-evolution of our beautiful capacities for altruism,  generosity, and charity, because if we’re not able to feel shame or remorse, then there’s no basis for the development of healthy altruism.

They discuss (highly) sensitive people, which as they say can perform a useful function in cultural and social systems or in families and friend groups because sensitive people are that “canary in the coal mine” that recognizes toxic or unhealthy dynamics and practices,, but they need to recognize their sensitivity and act accordingly. Forrest Hanson  says “So, there’s this kind of dance between you’re doing something helpful for people, and you’re doing something valuable for yourself, but you’re also doing what you can to build up those resources so you feel less disrupted by it.” They briefly try to unpack the notion of identifying as a highly sensitive person [HSP], and the possible crossover with post traumatic stress, or attention deficits, dyslexia  or any other form of neurodiversity, and they acknowledge the high complexity of all this.

Rick Hanson says: “What’s going on here is a lot of complexity. There are a lot of chickens and a lot of eggs, which came first?…. So [trauma]… and life experiences landing on a sensitive person are going to tend to have more impact than on a more phlegmatic, just kind of “whatever, what, me worry?” kind of person. So, obviously, then sensitivity could tend to predispose somebody to PTSD, not letting the environment off the hook, just acknowledging that in the stress-diathesis model, it’s the combination of what is happening along with the vulnerability of the person, offset by resources which may or may not be present. So all that’s, to me, really, really normal….There’s been a growing appreciation for the individualization of care, and a broadening of what our friend Gabor Maté calls “The Myth of Normal.” What is normal anyway? I get it about normal molecules of water, you know, two atoms of hydrogen, one atom of oxygen, gotcha, but normal human being? Huh, you know, it’s a really broad range, and so it’s really important to acknowledge where you are, and normalize you, you are normally you, you are you whoever you are, are incredibly normal as you. And validating that, and appreciating that, and then constructing a world around you that’s a good fit for you is to me, really appropriate to do with a lot of nurturing and compassion for yourself.”

They conclude that sensitivity is a broad category, and that 20 to 30 percent of people would qualify for being a HSP in some way, which is almost a third of the population. And Rick Hanson says: “if thirty percent of the population is highly something-where’s the center of the distribution?…….’ and that  “maybe we need to recalibrate our notion of being a human, particularly thinking about this, if you’re not being crushed daily by an intense workload, what would be the natural sensitivity that could develop in more benign circumstances? In other words, when people are not being numbed, and blunted, and squashed by their environments….”

They also refer to Elaine N. Aron’s work, which I came upon perhaps a decade ago. Maybe I’ve written about her work in an older post. .Anyway, below is a quote from her book: The Highly Sensitive Person

“HSPs tend to fill that advisor role. We are the writers, historians, philosophers, judges, artists, researchers, theologians, therapists, teachers, parents, and plain conscientious citizens. What we bring to any of these roles is a tendency to think about all the possible effects of an idea. …”

Forrest and Rick discuss more topics, which you can listen to or watch at: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MjGXsD9Xhb8

For the trip I only packed a few articles to keep my luggage light, and also, because I expected to buy a book or two in Athens. One of the articles I read on the boat was Social Relationships and Health: A Flashpoint for Health Policy by Dr Debra Umberson and Jennifer Karas Montez. I only recently came across Umberson’s research work as I’ve been looking for material on grief related to adult children losing one or both parents and the identity shifts that inevitably take place, I hope to write and post something after Christmas. Summarily, they discuss major findings in the study of social relationships and health, and how this knowledge could be translated into policies that promote population health. Key research findings include: (1) social relationships have significant effects on health; (2) social relationships affect health through behavioral, psychosocial, and physiological pathways; (3) relationships have both costs and benefits for health; (4) relationships shape health outcomes throughout the life course and have a cumulative impact on health over time; and (5) the costs and benefits of social relationships are not distributed equally in the population.

The article mentioned above focuses on how both the quantity and quality of our social relationships affect mental and physical health, health behaviour and mortality risk. Overburdened, strained, conflicted, abusive social ties can undermine health, and supportive social ties may have indirect effects on health through enhanced mental health, by reducing the impact of stress, or by fostering a sense of meaning and purpose in life. Social ties may trigger physiological sequelae that are beneficial to health and minimize unpleasant arousal that instigates risky behavior. They may enhance personal control, which is advantageous for health habits, and mental and physical health.  The article explores the link between social relationships and short-and long-term health outcomes. These effects often emerge in childhood and cascade throughout life to foster cumulative advantage or disadvantage in health. Various factors and explanations for this link are identified and social variation by gender and “race” at the population level are also discussed.

Umberson and Montez support that “a growing body of theoretical and empirical work illustrates how social conditions foster cumulative advantage and disadvantage for health over the life course.” They cite research that suggests that while social relationships are the central source of emotional support for most people, social relationships can often be extremely stressful, and that relationship stress undermines health through behavioral, psychosocial, and physiological pathways. Research findings support that stress in relationships contributes to poor health habits in childhood, adolescence, and adulthood, and to psychological distress and physiological arousal (e.g., increased heart rate and blood pressure, compromised immune and endocrine function) that can damage health through cumulative wear and tear on physiological systems, and by leading people to engage in unhealthy behaviors.

I also read Peter Singer’s 1971 essay: Famine, Affluence, and Morality. Singer is a philosopher, ethicist, writer, professor, and is considered by many the person who put animal rights on the map. In this essay he argues that we have a moral obligation to both those near us and those far away and we should do what we can to help people living in extreme poverty and prevent people dying from starvation.

An extract from the essay:

“I begin with the assumption that suffering and death from lack of food, shelter, and medical care are bad. I think most people will agree about this, although one may reach the same view by different routes. I shall not argue for this view. People can hold all sorts of eccentric positions, and perhaps from some of them it would not follow that death by starvation is in itself bad. It is difficult, perhaps impossible, to refute such positions, and so for brevity I will henceforth take this assumption as accepted. Those who disagree need read no further.”

“Losing our parent is like losing part of oneself.” Debra Umberson

While in Athens and amidst the things I had to do, I found the time to walk in the city, visit a book shop, where I bought a translated version of Debra Umberson’s book The Death of a Parent  (Ο Θάνατος ενός ΓονιούΕκδόσεις ΜΑΚΡΗ), and The National Gallery, which exhibits Greek and European art from the 14th century to the 20th century. The newly renovated building reopened after an 8 year refurbishment in 2021. This visit was a totally different experience from my past visits, and also, seeing the actual paintings of many well known Greek artists, of the 20th century, many of which I had only seen in art books or slides, felt like small awakenings.

“As I am, so are others; as others are, so am I.
Having thus identified self and others,
harm no one nor have them harmed.”
  Sutta Nipāta 3.710

Finally, I will end this post with something I don’t often do, with quotes from Buddhist texts related to cultivating a kinder and healthier way of living from Rick Hanson’s weekly meditation sessions page.  I don’t know them by heart, but during my recent trip, as I observed people and interactions and listened to stories, I found myself bringing to mind the essence of the quotes I have included in this piece today.

May all beings be happy and secure.  //   May all beings be happy at heart!

Omitting none, whether they are weak or strong,  //  seen or unseen, near or distant, born or to-be-born:

May all beings be happy.

Let none deceive another,   //   or despise anyone anywhere,
or through anger or ill will wish for another to suffer.

Just as a mother would protect her child, her only child,   //   with her own life,
even so you should cultivate a boundless heart toward all beings.

You should cultivate kindness  //  toward the whole world with a boundless heart:
above, below, and all around,  //  unobstructed, without enmity or hate.

Whether standing, walking, sitting, or lying down,  //  as long as you are alert,
you should be resolved upon this mindfulness.

This is called a sublime abiding here and now.

Adapted from the Metta Sutta